I may be ready to take off the necklace....... maybe not

I have been wearing the same necklace since the IVF round started, I have tried to take it off twice now in the last 3 weeks. Its still on, however, I think I can do it this weekend. Its so silly but when I go to take it off my heart starts to pound as if I’m doing something “wrong” so I leave it. I think its gonna have to be like a band-aid and just take it off and be done with it. We shall see what happens this weekend.... stay tuned!
Today I had 2 appts, one with the OB and one with the Peri. Had a cervical check, all is well with cervix as well as babies. Got a great pic of lil Maddux but Alyssa still being camera shy. We could have gotten a great shot of her booty in 3D tho!
I am 28 weeks now and measuring at 31, normal. Swelling and pain, normal. Not sleeping, normal. Being exhausted and having a hard time breathing, normal. Puking in my mouth, normal. Time for my Rhogam shot, normal.... or so I thought. Nope, apparently I have built up antibodies to the injection. Great. So they didn’t know whether or not to give it to me (my reg doc wasnt there). Apparently if they gave it to me they run a very high risk of the babies developing severe anemia, if they don’t give it and they end up with Matt’s blood type (A+, damn perfectionist) then there could be issues as well. Then if I don’t take it and end up getting pregnant again (which I am not wanting or planning but you never know) then the baby wouldn’t be able to survive since my body wouldn’t know what to do with it I guess. I’m not really clear on all this but now they have to run my blood again to check my titers(?) to make sure they are not too high and if they decide to give me the injection then they will have to run that blood test to make sure it doesn’t spike cuz then its dangerous to the babies.
It’s all very strange, but typical of this ride I suppose. My body likes to fight stuff off, till the bitter end. If its something that is helpful, it will try to F it up anyway. Apparently my body is really good at fighting and building antibodies and such. Fabulous. Couldn’t just get the shot and be done with it. Nope, not gonna happen. So now I have to go BACK to the hospital and get the shot. I’m trying not to take more time off of work since next Friday is my last day but just seems like there is always something else I have to do. Roger has got to think I am lying most times. I also have to make an appt for another IVIg treatment this week, not so sure that’s gonna happen. Each treatment takes at least 1.5 hours and they don’t start them until 8am - I start work at 8:30am.
Babies are running out of room in there, they were all squished up in there today. I have another scan 2 weeks from today along with an appt in IL at the specialist that week, then 2 weeks from then I will be seeing the OB weekly AND the peri 2x a week. Good thing they are in the same hospital! I have a non-stress test and some bio-something or other where they check their breathing and something else. How neat, I will be able to watch them breath! The things that they can and will do now, just amazing!

Im so much better, but....

Yesterday was my 3 week check up with the specialist in IL, well, actually, with the tech in IL. I almost never see the doc. Regardless, everything looks great and babies were boppin around. I have come a long, long, long way since the beginning about feeling more comfy about being pregnant and really believing that by the end of the year I will be a mother of 4. I still have my moments tho. Today, even after seeing them cruzin around just yesterday I got a wave of panic come over me. It was strange, it came out of nowhere, but it was strong. It was only strong for a few min and then I was much more manageable. Now, I am fine. Its so weird. I also go thru these weird emotions about loving being pregnant cuz I can feel them moving around and they are always with me to then wanting this to be over so I can walk w/out pain and put on regular shoes again. My hands and feet actually hurt. My hands hurt when I bend my fingers, I often wonder if this is how heavier people feel or if it is just the swelling that makes it difficult to move them. Either way, I just bounce back and forth. I never missed being pregnant with Harmony and Brayden, but I feel like I may have some sadness after I deliver these two. Maybe cuz this is deff my last go round with this stuff, maybe cuz we worked so hard to get here and then its over or maybe just cuz I’m a hormonal mess. I never had a problem saying I was “done” after Brayden was born, however, I was not having my tubes tied. But as I was looking around, I still (12 years later) have a bin full of baby clothes from the kids, their crib and porta-crib. Sure doesnt sound like a lady who was “done” having kids, does it? The crib and porta-crib are probably death traps so we are not using them - so why did I keep them? I have no idea, but they are gone as of this past weekend and I was ok with seeing them go. Very strange! It was weird to see those things out and watch the kids help move them around or take them to the garbage. They used to use those things and I could still picture them doing so, yet they were the ones moving them around. I guess I’m just in a weird place right now, my teenagers helping me get ready for babies. I guess it happens more and more now but I am no Duggar so this is weird to me, lol.

Harmony got to feel Maddux kicking the other day, it was pretty cool to see her face light up when she actually felt him move, it was very obvious that he was kicking her. She is having some issues and a hard time dealing with the new babies so it sure was cool to see her smile.

I can no longer sit Indian Style

or really any "style" for that matter. I am comfy for a lil bit then not so great and have to switch.

Anyway, not the reason for this post. 26 weeks and had a growth scan yesterday and it all went well. Babies are growing away just like singletons. Maddux is 2lbs and Alyssa is 1lb14oz. Both are in the 50th percentile. I still get nervous even tho I have so many u/s its hard to keep track. I dont feel Alyssa as much as i feel Maddux so I will start to worry that something is wrong sometimes. They both have anterior placentas so I am happy to feel anything but I asked the tech and she said that Maddux placenta is kinda by his head on top and Alyssa has a placenta that covers most of her body. She said that Maddux prob feels most of her kicks instead of me. They are both still breech and heartrates are pretty close to each other.
I will post the 3D pic we got of Maddux that is ok but nothing good of lil Aly, she kept putting her arms and hands in front of her face, she was not having any part of the pic taking.
Matt says Maddux looks like a frog but Harmony says he looks like an old man. She could pick out exactly where his face was and explained it to Matt cuz he said he couldnt see anything.
Babies still wont let anyone other than mommy feel their kicks/punches/movements. Each time someone puts their hand there, silence and calmness. Kinda funny. Matt says he will feel them when there are here.
I feel pretty crappy. The reflux meds seemed to work really well for 3 weeks or so of pure heaven but seems as tho they are loosing their magic. I now throw up in my mouth several times a day. Yuck. Doesnt matter what I eat either. I have an OB appt next week for yet another glucose test even tho I passed the first. I will ask him about the reflux at that point. I will not be looking at the scale from now on when I go to the OB. I have seen enuf! I will just now pretend I am not as big as I am and go on for the next 10 weeks in bliss. Plenty of time to diet after babies come!
I was able to give Roger an "end date" for working yesterday. Told him Sept 10th will be the end of the road for this preggo. He was fine with it, but what else is he gonna do. He still has not told me whether or not he will allow me to come as part time after babies are born. If not, I will find something else or watch a kid or 2 in the house part time. That will bring in just as much as working at the law office would so the only "bad" thing would be not being able to get dressed and out of the house at least 2x a week.
I look at Harmony and Brayden and can believe how old they are and how fast the time went and am so thankful I was able to be home with them just for those few years when they were little.
The "twin thing" is starting to freak me out more often now. Like how hard it will be and how much life will change in just a couple of months. All in a good way, but still freaky nonetheless.

Matt picked up the cribs and the dresser the other day. Dresser came in and I am slowly putting away clothes and diapers, etc in it. Cribs will prob come in next week and be put 2gether. Its like the slowest moving nursery ever. I wanna do it, I just have no energy to deal with it. Id love to have it painted, however, the thought of all that goes into that makes me sleepy so it may just stay blue, I'm sure Alyssa will not care :-)

Point of Viability! 24 weeks

Not that I would want them born now but it sure is a very nice milestone. U/s last week went well and babies growing well. This week I had an appt with my GP, OB and an u/s for cervical check with the peri. Good thing I got them all done with yesterday! Everything looks good, cept my HUGE feet and ankles, good lord they are so big! They are sayin it is "normal" and not to worry unless my BP goes up and for now it is good. They do want me to have my feet up as much as possible and wear compression socks, lol, entering old lady territory there but whatever will help cuz they kinda hurt now, along with my hands. The wedding ring will go on, however, only if I rinse my hands with cold water and then quickly put it on. I'm sure in a couple weeks that option will be gone. Had glucose test and all was fine even tho i messed it up and fasted for the night instead of just 2 hours. Blood was all fine except that i am anemic. Not a huge surprise tho, I was anemic when preg with Brayden and took iron and I'm always "borderline" anemic just on a regular day so now just taking iron to help that. I have been on them for 3 weeks now and feel nothing different so I think I need more. Doc said they will test for GD and anemia again in 3 weeks.
Kicks or punches are getting more intense which is fun but these lil stinkers know when someone elses hands are on my belly and wont move. I think they think its funny. They were moving, shaking and dancing around in there and so i yell for Harmony to hurry so she runs downstairs and throws her hand on the most active part. Silence, nothing, no movement at all for an entire 5 min that she patiently waited there. 5 min after she left they started again, my hand or arm on my belly and no probs at all. Maddux did it to Matt last night too. Frustrating but kinda entertaining at the same time.
Doc said they would write me out of work due to the back pain and swelling but I think I will push it a bit further as long as it is safe. Id love to go to part time but don't know how to even bring it up with Roger. I suppose it's like a band-aid and I just gotta do it. I don't want to, I'd rather have him ask me but I'm sure he doesn't want to deal with it either. We are thinking I should work til September - mid September but I am shooting more for Sept 1st. Maybe I can even work part time, like 3 days a week from Sept 1 to the end of Sept. Id love to not have to come back at all, not cuz i dont love my job, but cuz i love the babies more. I was lucky enuf to stay home for a few years when Harmony and Brayden were born and it was very important to me. If that is not possible then the most I will work is part time, whether it be here or another place. It is nice to get out of the house when you have lil ones so that may be a good option. I deff don't make enuf to cover daycare costs here so no point, plus, I didnt work this hard to have these babies in order to allow someone else to enjoy them during the day :-)
Hopefully no bedrest. So far so good on that front. They keep telling me that it could be strict bedrest every other week when I go and they are happy to see all is still going well in there. From the very beginning we were told that bedrest or hospital bedrest was gonna happen so its nice to have made it this far without.
Feeling pretty good considering - I'm sore and my back kills plus now I have this awful pain down my left side when I walk, but usually only when I have been down for a few hours, like a nap or a nights sleep. Prob has something to do with the back issues, but also the weight I am carrying. Its a lot for me, well, really anyone!
I'm looking forward to putting the nursery soon. The piano left on Monday so there is a lot more room in there. The entertainment center will go too. All the other crap in there just needs to find a home other than in that room. Id love to paint but we will see how that goes. Id LOVE to paint it either light brown or cream and then on one wall put huge stripes with the other color but that sure seems like a big chore right now. Maybe I will just plan that for the future. Or maybe it will just stay that weird blue it is now.
Found a great dresser and 2 cribs that are gorgeous - just gotta figure out where everything is gonna go in there - kinda like a puzzle!
Anyway, things are pluggin along and once the room is started and then finished this may all seem real..... babies in just a few months.... holy cow!