Seems as tho my body likes to miscarry and is apparently very good at it. Too bad it wasnt really good at carrying a baby to term.
Bitter sweet call today from the nurse at the RE's office. My pregnancy levels are "less than 1" which means my body did m/c on its own. Thats good news but still hard to take. I knew it wasnt gonna go this way but i sure would have liked to hear that my levels went up and the baby was just messin wiht me before, lol, wouldnt that have been nice. No such luck.
I asked to have the doc call me 2moro to go over some things that i want to have done. There are a few blood tests that I can assume that i have had done but who knows so Im gonna ask and if i have not had them then its time to get going on that. I am also gonna ask to have 2 tests done on my uterus, even tho 1 would prob be good enough. I would like to have a saline test done, where they inject saline into your uterus to see how it coats it, looking for polyps and fibroids near the lining. I would also like to have an MRI done to check for the same. Apparently, having fibroids near the lining can mess whit implantation so that would be something ot look for. I know that i have a fibroid in my uterus because my other doc saw one during an ultrasound but she said it was not a problem since it was no where near the lining.
I find it very strange that i can get pregnant 4 times in the last 2 years, 3 of those on our own, and lose the baby at almost the exact same time every time and NO ONE can tell me what is wrong.... seems strange that all the tests come back great and then at the same time every time the baby just takes a nose dive and is gone a week later. Weird.
I cant get over the heartache, I'm still so sad and very very mad about it all. I am so testy and the thought of doing anything cept going to work is just too overwhelming to me. I dont remember the last time i made a meal for the kids or Matt or myself for that matter. I just dont have any gumption right now. Kinda just going thru the motions and having a pity party for me.... boo-hoo.....
I dont want to give up, i want to know why this is happening. If this is the way it is i want to know why - what the hell is going on - i want to know. There is an answer and i swear I'm gonna figure it out. If its my uterus then we know not to invest the money into donor eggs but if its not my uterus then its time to find ourselves a donor so that we can get going with that. I need to know what it is.
I am way more careful and cautious then i was when i had the kids. I smoked cigs, drank alot when i got preggo with harmony, smoked again until i found out i was preggo with bray and never once took a vitamin until i got a positive pregnancy test. I ate whatever i wanted and that would be pasta and rice and bread/butter. I know i was younger at that point but how the hell did i get THAT old in the last 10 years? It doesnt make sense to me.