Thursday, February 11, 2010
The troups have arrived!
Yesterday the 6 boxes of fertility medication/needles arrived. Matt said it took 40 min to put the stuff away (into the fridge), now we have more needles and medication in our fridge than food.
I had to take everything out and organize, just cuz thats who I am. I also needed to go thru all the meds to make sure that everything was there and read up on what needed to be in the fridge and what did not.
Everything ended up on the kitchen table and as I looked at it I felt overwhelmed. Not the same type of feeling as when I first opened the medication box with the first IVF, but still a very strong overwhelming, sadness came over me. I lined everything up and figured I would take a picture of my very own "infertility army". What a weird place to be in, taking pictures of the many medications i will be injecting into my body. Right then Brayden came in the kitchen and the tears came, partly cuz of the weirdness of all of this, partly cuz I needed him to come in and be reminded of why I am doing this and mostly cuz he gave me a big hug - just because.
As he is asking me what the heck all this stuff is a light goes off in his head - so he says in a real soft voice ...... "don't you have to have s-e-x in order to have a baby"..... OMG, gulp..... so I said "nope, not this time" and then went on to try and explain why and how the doctor was gonna do it. WOW, that was weird!!! He was fine with my answer and went on about life, gotta love kids not really needing much of an explanation.
When you are in the situation, its hard to see it as anything else than normal. Just as Harmony’s twice weekly therapy used to be and her yearly IEP is, I used to try to shelter and hide the injections from the kids but it just was way too hard. They are old enuf to be able to be told. They understand what they can and what they don’t doesn’t seem to bother them much. They have been thru all the IVF’s and all the miscarriages and they are bothered by the loses just as much as we are. They are there for all the injections, Harmony has even been “trained” on how to give the intramuscular progesterone injections for the nights that Matt isnt around. How disturbing is that? Ugh, but what else are we gonna do? Brayden cant even be in the room with the injections cuz he says it “makes his legs tingle” to see that stuff. I decided to tell them about it and let them see that I wasnt doing anything illegal since they are really hit hard with the drug talk at school. I deff did not want them peeking in on me doing an injection and busting that nugget out during the class drug talk - ouch, that would be a meeting with the principal for sure!
All the meds in the picture are going to be used in a 8-10 day period, the only ones that wont be will be the blood thinner injections - so the 2 boxes of Lovenox in the back will be left over after the intense days of stimulation. Holy Crap, thats a lot of medication.