Thursday, February 26, 2009

“Fat Tuesday”

Even tho I am not religious, I think that giving something up for a few weeks is a good thing. Sooooo the kids and I talked about it this morning and we are claiming today as “Fat Thursday” since we missed Fat Tuesday and we are gonna pig out tonight and start the lent thing 2moro.

The kids and I are gonna pick something to give up, not anything different than what other people do. Not so sure about Matt.
Brayden talked about candy so I guess that is ok even tho he doesn’t really eat a lot of candy. Harmony will need to give something up as well but she didn’t want tot talk about it this morning, other things to worry about I am sure.

I will be giving up “trying to conceive” and probably frozen custard.
I don’t smoke or drink and I have to pay money each time I swear around the kids so not much to give up. I will NOT be giving up fried foods since I only have those as a treat so thats not gonna happen.
I will work as hard if not harder to NOT think about getting pregnant and NOT feeling bad that I am not pregnant or about the babies that are not here with us. My hope is that by working hard at not thinking about it I will be less stressed and happier. We shall see how that goes tho. What is not going to go thru my mind is “maybe I will get pregnant when im not trying” ---- then I would still be trying in my head.

This is the very 1st month in amost a 2 year period that I am seriously not doing anything to get pregnant. I may even try not to get pregnant for a change, lol.
Even on the months where I was not under the care of the doc with IUI’s, IVF’s and injections I was taking a high dose of clomid on my own so there was never a time where I did nothing. I was never ok with “wasting” the month and not trying. This is gonna be hard, but I can do it!

I love my family and they are the most important thing to me and they need to feel that from now on, my kids need to stop feeling sad for me that I don’t have a baby in my tummy. Brayden talks about it often and I soooo don’t want them to think that they are not “good enough” and I need to have more children. I just love them so much that I want more of them, I spose I am greedy that way.

Today is my grannys 80th birthday and I am looking forward to dinner out to celebrate. Yum, everyone likes Carini's so its deff nice not to have to listen to the kids complain about their meals or know that the money we spend will be wasted cuz they wont eat it. Matt wont be able to stay long since he has a rehersal, he will stay for a bit.

This weekend should be fun, I have the kids for the whole weekend - they are mine, mine all MINE!!!!! Trying to come up with something to do - maybe a board game and a movie.....or..... maybe it will be nice enough to go outside! Oh my!!!

The fridge shopping has come to a hault, I just dont care to do it. All the ones that I like are over a grand and I just dont want to spend that much. I think that if i cant find one that I like I will either wait and save up a few more hundred and get one that I like OR go shopping for something else I want and then complain about the frigde. Ha ha ha. No, Im sure that I will just save up and get one that I actaully like, otherwise why get something? Why pick out something that isnt all that much better than what I already have and drop some serious cash on that?

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