Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Its over.....

Its done and over now - no pregnancy again. I dont understand why this isnt happening - its so ridiculous that we could be going thru this over and over for so long and still have no answers and no baby. I just dont get it.
I go for my pregnancy test at the doctor 2moro and i will prob try to skip it. I already know - i know my body and i have tested with some mega sensitive tests that are the biggest fattest flippin negative you have ever seen. Not even a shadow of a 2nd line thats for sure.
Yesterday was the hardest day i think, one would think that this would get "easier" or i would be "used to seeing the negatives" but I'm not. I will never get used to it or have it get easier, i dont know how to. If i am gonna do something i am gonna have to believe that it will happen or really what is the point of doing it? Matt has a diff way of looking at it but I'm sure that he hurts just like i do.

I cannot go thru the injections and cycles again, just cant do it. I need my life back - I need my body back and I need to stop living my life for this.

A friend offered a good suggestion, embryo adoption. Which is a helluva lot cheaper than going with the donor eggs, a difference of about 20 grand.
When i get the energy or the want, i will look more into that. Maybe even talk to the doc about it - not sure if they handle that but its worth a shot, lol, no pun intended.
That way I dont need to do any injections - just will have someone elses embryo put into my uterus in hopes it will implant. I will insist on at least 3 of them going in.


Anonymous said...

Im truly sorry abt the situation. I hate to mention this, may be ask your Dr about Egg banks, perhaps they could cost just as much as donor FET and lesser than going thru a fresh donor cycle? I dont know what worrds can console you, but lots of prayers your way-HopeN

Princess Chelsea said...

we have talked abotu donor cycles - is that the same thing you are talking about or are there places where eggs are just sitting around waiting to be "bought"? the donor cycle we talked with the doc abotu was us picking a lady out of their papers and then her going and giving us the eggs she produced.
Its about 25K to do that (plus meds) cuz she has to go thru all the bloodwork and testing before she can start.

Thx HopeN :)

Anonymous said...

Thats what I mean places where frozen eggs can be baught for a price. I mean sperms are frozen, why not eggs, when women go through IVF and freeze eggs just incase or a woman having cancer or something decides to freeze her eggs for later so many things, this is something that should be possible to do in todays world. You can ask your Dr if its possible.

Princess Chelsea said...

i am gonna ask them about it - sounds promising. Would assume that would be less expensive then the fresh 25K cycle!
Great idea!!